Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
