I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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