She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I think my nap took me to another dimension
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
