I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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