you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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