another moral hangover. fuck.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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