I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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