But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Let's get the cat blown out
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize