: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
