before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
