How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
