This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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