'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
