You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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