thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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