i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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