I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
