My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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