she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
What a dumb baby whore.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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