id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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