I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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