So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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