She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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