either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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