I just gift wrapped bread.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize