Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
