Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize