I wannas sexs uuuuu
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
