Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I need to stop coming to work sober
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
