Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
