Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize