Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
