the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
