I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
