they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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