he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Congratulations! We have a period
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
