i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
