My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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