You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
