we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
