Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
