i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We just shotgunned beers for America
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
