he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
