I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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