do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
