Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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