My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
