Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
