Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize