I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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