smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
