you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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