You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
