Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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