These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
