you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
