for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize
