You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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