she was so not down for the gang bang
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
