Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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