thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
