This girl is more easily done than said...
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
