OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
