no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Green mimosas i think yes
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
