Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
