So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize