Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
