you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
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